Speaking up with confidence

Back in October, I hosted my ‘Speaking Up with Confidence’ workshop designed to help parents find their voice in the chaos.

Never did I truly understand the importance of speaking up with confidence and clarity until I had my son who has SEND.

I’d considered myself a good communicator, but nothing prepared me for the emotional weight of navigating endless professionals, underfunded services, and the constant need to advocate for my child. It was only then that I realised the power of practising what I’ve long preached: assertive, confident, emotionally aware communication.

Whether an EHCP review, a paediatric appointment, school meeting or the dreaded transport conversation, the ability to assert yourself directly, and honestly, respectfully while respecting the rights of others is not a luxury, it’s a lifeline.

“This isn’t about who shouts loudest gets heard. It’s about speaking more clearly, from a place of self-respect, emotional regulation, and purpose.”

This workshop is not just about helping individuals gain an awareness of how to talk and act assertively, it’s also about understanding how they may be showing up in meetings during moments of vulnerability. It is not uncommon to resort to behaviours that protect us but learning to shift from these typical unconscious reactive patterns to grounded adult responses is key.

Understanding we are likely to be vulnerable, we are after all, dealing with one of the most important aspects of our lives, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and either shut down or speak in ways we may later regret. This workshop helps parents recognise those patterns and replace them with tools that support clarity, calm, and confidence.

If you’ve ever left a meeting wishing you’d said more, or perhaps less, you are not alone, your voice matters. Assertiveness may not be a skill we were ever taught, but it’s never too late to learn how to advocate not just for your young people, but for yourself.

Natalie’s Top 3 Tips for Speaking up with Confidence:

Remember your why
Don’t get lost in the battle to win. Stay focused on your goal. Assertive communication is open to compromise, sometimes giving a little helps you gain a lot.
Ask for a pause
It’s okay to say, “Can we take a moment?” or “Would it be okay to pause while I gather my thoughts?” You’re allowed space to process. Don’t be afraid to ask.
Write things down
Our memories are shaped by emotion and bias from the moment we take in information. That’s why we often remember things differently from one another. Taking notes helps you stay grounded, accurate, and reflective.

Natalie Fernando is a Therapeutic Coach and a qualified family mediator with over 20 years of experience. She is also a SEND mum and blogger of Better to be Different.

Natalie facilitates our four-week Emotional Resilience course and recently hosted her workshop, ‘The Art of Assertiveness: Speaking Up with Confidence’.

This is part of our Specialist Talks calendar for SNAP parents, carers and professionals. Find out about upcoming talks and webinars on page 6.