SNAP has always recognised the special importance of siblings, which was highlighted in Sibs 4 Fun this summer.  The sib weeks held in the summers of 1999 and 2000 were a huge success, which is why it was so good to finally be able to reintroduce it this year at our new centre.  We have since received some amazing feedback from the children and their parents and are planning future activities for siblings – so watch this space!

This article was first published in Contact a Family’s Connected magazine –  Summer 2007 and also hits the note.

We would like to share this piece with you, written by the younger sister of a disabled brother.  The author is aged 15 and was set an assignment at school entitled, ‘Who would you most like to have a one to one with and why?’  Most of her friends chose pop stars or footballers.

Meeting my brother

I would like to have a one to one with my brother.  This must sound bizarre because he’s my brother.  I even lived with him until six months ago, that’s over 14 years of my life, so why didn’t I talk to him?  He has autism.  This means he can’t talk or communicate, he wasn’t toilet trained until he was 13 years old, and he has no sense of danger.

It wasn’t until he was 18 months old that he was diagnosed.  It was a huge shock for my mum and dad and they realised that this would change their lives forever.  It broke their hearts but they knew there was no point dwelling on it.  I would like to have a one to one with him just to hear his voice and the way he spoke if nothing else.  I would also like to know how he perceives life and his family.  I would love to know how much he understands.  I would ask him how he finds his new home and if he realises he’s left school.

I would like to know about his fear of dogs which dominates his life.  When he is outside, if he sees a dog he is completely terrified.  He has no sense of danger and is liable to run off in any direction, even into a road.  He could be killed which is why the dog phobia is such a problem.  I would ask him about his memory.  I’m not sure how much he remembers.  In some situations, he is like a goldfish and does not appear to retain information at all, but in others, he is able to respond – he certainly recognises family members and familiar places.  When we go to the beach, he always swims in exactly the same place.  When he was a   toddler, he circled round the same bit of the carpet all the time – even when he left the room and came back – it was still the same spot.  This is all to do with keeping things the same.  People with autism love to stick to the same routine and keep things in order.

I would like to ask him silly questions like, ‘What is his favourite colour?’, and, ‘What songs does he like?’  I would like to ask him if he knows who I am.

I would also like to tell him that we all love him very much, just to confirm he knew.  I’d also like to ask him not to touch my stuff!

A one to one with him would be fascinating and a dream of mine that will never come true.

Jess